The Case for Nuclear War

September 5th, 2017 4:14pm - Posted By: Mark Cohen

I am so tired of my liberal snowflake friends whining about the possibility that Trump might start a nuclear war. I guess I’m just one of those people that always sees the glass as half-full.

It’s true that a nuclear war would kill hundreds of millions of innocent people. But you can’t stop the analysis there; you must also consider the possible benefits of a nuclear war.

One benefit of a nuclear war is that we could finally put the global warming issue to rest. When you have a nuclear war, stuff burns. Burning causes smoke. Smoke blocks the sun’s rays. Without the sun’s rays, the Earth cools. Scientists call this Nuclear Winter. Global warming solved.

Another benefit would be intense pressure on Congress to pass meaningful healthcare reform. Nuclear war brings radioactive fallout. Radioactive fallout causes all sorts of cancers. The Americans that survive a nuclear exchange will unite as never before to pressure Congress to establish a healthcare system that provides coverage for all Americans.

Nuclear war would also have economic benefits. As with any Republican economic program, one of the main selling points of a nuclear war would be job creation. After the mushroom clouds subside, someone will have to clean up the mess. Someone will have to rebuild the roads, bridges, schools, and infrastructure. And with a critical shortage of workers (due to so many being dead or ill), the free market will make sure these are high-paying jobs. And, as we all know from Republican Economic Theory 101, those workers will spend that money in the few remaining stores and it will trickle down to the less fortunate.

A nuclear war would also solve the overpopulation program. In 1960, Colorado’s population was 1.753 million people. Today it is 5.57 million people. No wonder it takes five hours to drive from A-Basin to Denver on a Sunday afternoon. A nuclear war would restore a little sanity to our out of control growth.

Finally, a Trump-initiated nuclear war might cause a few of the surviving voters to reconsider their belief that “there is no difference between the two parties.” It might cause a few surviving voters to rethink their opposition to “voting for the lesser of two evils.” I’m not saying a nuclear war would have these effects, just that it might. It’s theoretically possible. You can’t rule it out.

In closing, I’m tired of the nattering nabobs of negativism looking only at the downside of a nuclear war without considering the possible benefits. As Americans, we owe it to ourselves to examine the issue objectively and consider both the costs and the benefits.

            

Posted in: Politics

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